What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What is one thing you've learned from life?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why do I (45, male) feel like I'm crushing on a girl (19, female)?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What do you mean son?

True - how I loved my mum!

Why do doctors refuse HRT to menopausal women but hand them out to trans people?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

How do I get a white man for a serious relationship?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”